Life is as complicated as you make it

I’m sure you all agree that life can be complicated at times-- there is no arguing with that.

However, it doesn’t always need to be so complicated, some of us are just really good at overthinking. That doesn't discredit the sheer amount decisions and choices we are faced with that make our days complex and confusing. Would you agree?

Studies show that as human beings, we naturally try to keep our options open and we don’t like to say no or close doors. Instead, we keep things on our radar “just in case” (we all know that friend who over-commits and under-delivers when it comes to making plans and following through!)

This will actually start to take a huge toll on us-- mentally, emotionally, and physically! Recognizing that this is an issue and it’s human nature to want all option, it's important to have a system in place to help us make decisions more easily and not second guess ourselves.

Here are my go to questions in order to NOT overwhelm myself each day with decisions:

  • Is this definitive and/or unchangeable (most things aren't...there may be minor penalties, fees, or hurt feelings if you break your promise, but that is minor in the grand scheme of your life)
  • Does this add value to my life? What will I get?
  • Is this what I personally want, or am I doing this for others (ask yourself this: am I agreeing to please someone or avoid an argument)
  • Will this simplify my life, or make it more complex?

Let me leave you with the following big-ticket questions and thoughts that you should consider before giving away your time to ANYONE or ANYTHING… remember that your time is valuable, and decision fatigue is not where you want to end up.

Here is how I reduce complication and live a more simplified lifestyle.

  1. Think big picture: Is this stress/situation going to have a massive impact on your life or not? Is this a beneficial encounter?
  2. Trust your gut: What was your initial reaction when you heard of such plans? If you know it's not a good idea in your gut but are overthinking because on paper and maybe to everyone else it seems like a no brainer, trust your gut
  3. Do a social media detox: Stop comparing yourself to others, and tune out the noise of social media if you’re feeling overwhelmed
  4. Get out of your head and talk to someone: A therapist can help you get in touch with your internal stuff allowing you to process it, which lets you move on from it.  
  5. Embrace a flexible mindset: Things don't always go the way you plan or the way you want them to for that matter. A flexible mindset allows you to move forward and not dwell on things for too long.
  6. Meditate: This can strengthen intuitions, help to stay present, and bring to light what is cluttering my mind. I end each meditation reminding myself to stay grounded and present, being present allows me to better recognize gut feelings. During my meditation I label each thought as they enters my mind, by the end I know what has repeatedly entered and ask myself "why?"and then "is there something I can do to address this?"

Here is a great guided meditation to help you make choices more effectively.